NaNoWriMo-untitled novel-chapter six

*This is an important note, so read it before the chapter. I have decided that this will be the LAST chapter I will post. why? because I am moving into the deeper areas of the plot and I don't want some evil person to steal, which might happen. Also, if I ever decide to attempt to get this published, having the entirety of it on the web is not a good idea.
So, with that, i give the last public installment of the novel. It is very long, so consider yourself forwarned (i think it was 6 1/2 pages in word, single spaced). The tone changes in this section, immensely...So, with all that said, enjoy, leave notes and encouragment. (I am happy to say I am AHEAD of my daily quota for words and still going strong...I am now at 11,885 words!)
Enjoy the last part you will see...unless you personally request the next sections.*

“He told you that?” I set my knitting on the couch beside me, ready and waiting for the onslaught that was inevitable.
“Yes.” I couldn’t read her expression.
“And?” I was quiet, scared she was going to explode into a lecture, or tell me it was irresponsible.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She was sincere. I could see that, hear it in her voice.
“I guess I was scared, we were both scared. We didn’t know what we supposed to do.” I watched her as she continued to knit. Perhaps this wasn’t going to be so bad.
“I know, I understand all that. But you still should have told me. I would have been angry with you both, but that’s it.” I nodded. “Anyway, it’s in the past now and what’s done is done, right?”
“Yes, it is.” I returned to my knitting.
“I love you Madeline.” I looked up at her; she had tears in her eyes. I got up and knelt beside her and hugged her.
“I love you too mom.” I held her tight for a long time, my heart a little lighter.

When I first met Michelle, I was newly arrived in New York, living out of my car and parking it in various garages. I was also three months pregnant.
I found her ad requesting a roommate one morning while I was drinking a cup of awful coffee from a fast food place. All it said was, “20 year old female seeking female roommate,” along with her address and phone number. Being homeless and pregnant, I had no other choice.
We hit it off from the beginning and she inquired about my pregnancy, Justin and my life. Willingly, and surprisingly, I told it all. Michelle reminded me a lot of Mary, and to this day, she remains my only true friend in New York. She took a chance on a pregnant eighteen year old and invited me to stay with her. I think more than anything, she felt sorry for me.
Michelle and I were roommates for six years, until I hit it big and could afford to live on my own. She was everything, a friend, a sister, and a surrogate mom, teaching me the ways to survive in New York.
She also holds my biggest secret.

At around five, my mom stepped in my room, where I was typing away at my laptop.
“I’m leaving now.” She smiled and came to sit next to me. “What are you writing?”
“Nothing, just my thoughts.” I closed the laptop.
“Don’t be nervous about tonight. I’m sure Justin just wants to talk.”
“I can’t help it, I am nervous. I’m worried he’s going to attack me, not that he doesn’t have reason to…” I set the laptop beside me and she took my hands in hers.
“Madeline, you need to stop attacking yourself for what you have done in the past. While I don’t know all of why you left, you must have needed to. So don’t worry and everything will be fine.” She stood and kissed my forehead. Walking to the door, we heard a car honk outside. “That’s Jenny, she’s my ride tonight.”
“Mom?” She stopped and looked back.
“Yes?”
“You’re too good to me.” She smiled and left, calling back,
“I know.”

When I fell sick in the September after I moved to New York, Michelle took a few days off work to take care of me. I was too weak to make it to the toilet and was making a mess all over the place.
She was there constantly to rub my back, hold my hair from my face as I vomited and force-fed me soup. Without her, I would have died, literally.
It was in the days after I got better that I decided to make some of it up to her. Escaping to the corner drug store, I came back with a box of chocolates and a card. When she opened the card she laughed until she cried.
“You are the best mom in the world. Thanks for all you do.”

At exactly six o’clock, the doorbell rang. Taking one deep breath, I opened it and smiled. He was standing there in a pair of khakis and a blue dress shirt, his wavy hair combed in a haphazard way. He still caught my breath, even after all these years.
“You look nice Maddie.” I looked down at my own attire. Not wanting to look like I tried to hard, I choose a long black skirt and a dark green turtleneck, normal attire for me.
“Thanks, you too.” I shut the door firmly behind him and followed him off the porch. A shiny new Explorer, the one I saw that morning at the park, sat in the driveway and he opened the door for me.
He climbed in beside me and we were off. I let my mind wander as I watched out the windows. I always remembered fall in the years I spent in New York with no trees. Even central park couldn’t compare to this country. We sat in comfortable silence until he turned off onto a dirt road. Not recognizing where we were going, he chuckled at my face.
“Don’t know where you are?”
“No, I don’t remember there being any houses out here.” The road we were on was skinny and bumpy and I was jolted a little in my seat.
“That’s because there were no houses until I built mine.” As he finished speaking, the trees cleared and a log cabin gleamed in the setting sun.
“It’s beautiful.” He parked the car in front and I hopped out, not giving him the chance to be gentlemanly. He grabbed my arm and led me gracefully around puddles to his front door.
“I still have some landscaping to do, and I need to pave the drive, but it’s enough for now.” I nodded as he led me inside. All I could think was, masculine. It was classic bold, manly colors and furniture, complete with a deer head in the foyer. I pointed to it and he laughed. “When my dad saw the foyer, he gave me that to put there. I knew he would be offended if I didn’t, so there it stays.”
I followed him into the kitchen, where he pulled out a bar stool and poured white wine into a simple glass for me and set to work preparing dinner.
“Sorry I don’t have anything fancier, but this isn’t New York, or wherever you’ve been.”
“Justin, if you’re going to continually attack me, I might as well leave.” He looked up from chopping carrots
“You’re the one who left Maddie.”
“Yes, but you don’t have to be rude to me.”
“You don’t think I have a right too?” He was standing next to me, and I could feel my heart quaking.
“Look, I came here because you asked and because I needed to talk to you anyway. I know what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it, but you don’t need to be a jerk to me.” He was silent. “If you don’t think you can do that, then you can take me home.”
“No, I want you to stay. I want to talk to you even more than you want to talk to me.” I nodded and sipped wine. “I’m sorry I snapped.”
“It’s alright, we’ve had worse.” He smiled and returned to cooking.

On Valentine’s Day of my junior year, I was dressed and waiting for him to arrive. He was taking me out to dinner and to go dancing. My mom had bought me a dress just for that night and I had saved enough for a new watch for him. As seven o’clock came and went, I was worried. But when eight o’clock came, I was angry.
Mom continuously was saying he would come any minute, but I knew he wasn’t. At ten, I gave up and went upstairs, pounding the steps and fighting back tears. About I’ve minutes later, as I was contemplating what I would say to him the next day, my mom came in.
“He’s outside and he wants to talk to you.”
“I don’t want to talk to him. Tell him to go away.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me from my chair.
“Grow up Madeline, go talk to the boy.” I yanked myself free from her grip and shook her off as I started downstairs, still in my shoes and dress.
“Fine.”
I opened the front door and stepped outside. He was waiting just off the porch, his back to me. It was pouring rain and his shirt and hair cling to him.
“Justin?” He turned and I saw the pained look in his eyes as he saw me.
“You look so beautiful Maddie.” I nodded and stepped down. He looked freezing.
“Come up here where it’s not wet.” He shook his head no.
“I’m sorry Maddie, my car broke down and I had to fix it and…” He stopped talking and I noticed his eyes were wet, but not from the rain.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m an awful boyfriend Maddie. I should have called.”
“I was worried about you.” He stepped onto the first step and was shivering.
“I’m sorry, I screwed up our wonderful night.”
“It’s okay.” I reached for him and he pulled away.
“No, its not. I screwed up.” I nodded and trembled in my dress. He looked downward and water trailed down the tip of his nose in an endless stream.
“I love you Justin.”
“I love you too Maddie. I got this for you.” He held out a small velvet box and not caring, I stepped down to him and was instantly soaked. “Honey, you’re ruining your dress.”
“No, its okay. The dress doesn’t matter.” He touched my arm and opened the box.
Inside was a simple silver chain and a small heart locket. He undid it from its holder and held it up. Looping it around my neck, he clasped it on.
“Look at the back.” He held it up to my eyes and I strained to read it.
“Eternally Yours.” I smiled and kissed him, my hair clinging to my cheeks and my dress soaked.
“It’s beautiful.”
“Like you.”

We sat down at his simple wood table and ate. He was a good cook and the salmon was cooked to perfection. We talked little, mostly small talk as we ate. Somehow, he was different and I couldn’t lay my hand on it.
As we finished, he poured me another glass of wine and led me to the den, where he lit a fire. I admired his books and touched the spines lovingly. He watched me as I stopped and smiled at a few of them.
“Have you read her books before?”
“Whose?” He came over to stand beside me.
“Mary Daniels.” He pulled one out and held it up.
“No, I don’t think I have.”
“You should, she’s an amazing writer. Although, I’ve heard that she’s quite remarkable and odd.”
“Why?” I took the book from him and glanced at the cover.
“She refuses to do face to face interviews or sign autographs in person. This is her pen name, or so I’ve been told. I guess he has something to hide, or doesn’t want people to know who she really is. She must have some demons in her closet to write the way she does.”
“That is intriguing.” I raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, I would love to meet her though. I love her writing, her way of thinking. She’s like no other writer I’ve read.” A small smile crept across my face as he recounted his love for Mary Daniels. What a small world we live in.
“I think I will have to read this then. Mind if I borrow it?”
“Not at all, just don’t go running off with it.” Winking, I let that slide as we sat on the leather loveseat.
“So…” It was awkward; actually knowing we were about to talk.
“Yes…” We both laughed and sipped nervously at the wine.
“Are you glad you came home?” It was a simple question, a good way to lead into the harder topics.
“Yes. I missed it. New York is nothing like this. Its all hustle and brimming with people. But good old Harpers Grove is…just itself.”
“That’s why I love it.” I nodded as he continued. “How’s your mom doing?”
“Alright I guess. Actually, we haven’t talked much about…her cancer since I’ve been here. It’s more like…we’re trying to get used to each other and know each other first.”
“I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.”
“Yeah, well, we got a big issue out today.” An eyebrow rose. “She mentioned that you told her about the…pregnancy.” I looked up from the spot on his carpet where my attention had been focused.
“Oh…” He seemed uncomfortable and hurt. “I felt I should have told her.”
“Yeah, well, I’m kind of glad you did, but we should have told her earlier.”
He nodded and pinched the area between his eyes in frustration.
“That’s not a time I remember well Maddie.” I was quiet, knowing there was more. “Is that why you left? Because you were pregnant?”
“It was part of it, a large part of it. I didn’t want everyone to know. You know how it is in small towns like this. Once one person knows, everyone knows.” He looked hurt, pained.
“So you left me?” There was no mistaking that he wasn’t over this, not that he should be.
“Justin…” I just sat still, not knowing what to say. “That’s not all of it, so don’t get upset.”
“Alright, then tell me why you did leave.” He sat with his arm around the back of the couch, his fingers almost touching my hair.
“I guess things became too much for me. There was so much pressure from you, and my mom and everyone. The pregnancy only added to it.”
“So you decided the best option was to leave and not tell anyone where you were going and call two years later.” I shot him a nasty look, but he interrupted my protests. “I’m not trying to be rude Maddie, but that’s what you did. You left no note; you didn’t tell me you were unhappy. You didn’t try to fix the problems in any rational way. Instead, you left and deserted everyone who cared about you.”
“It wasn’t like I was purposely avoiding everyone and everything here Justin, I just…didn’t want to deal with it anymore.” Pain shot through my head as I talked. All of this was going to give me a massive form of migraine.
“Maddie, that’s what you did. I’m being honest in telling you how it looked from my point of view. Your mom called me that morning asking if I was with you. I said no and we both thought you went shopping or something. When you didn’t show up that night, we knew you ran away.”
“Did she tell you about what happened the night before I left?” I was quiet, staring at the flickering flames in the fireplace.
“She said you guys had an argument…about your dad.”
“Yes, a big one.” I walked over to the fireplace and rested my weary mind on the mantle, my hands on either side of my cheeks. The flames warmed me and sent shivers down my spine. “What I wanted growing up; most of all was any information about my dad. No one understood how hard it was for me to deal with the fact I had no father, no one to talk to about it. She refused to answer any of my questions and told me to shut up when I begged.”
“Maddie,” his voice was soft and hoarse, “You could have told me. You could have told me anything and I would have listened.”
He was standing behind me now, his voice floating above the cracking of the logs and my own heavy breathing.
“There were just some things I couldn’t say to you. You wouldn’t understand any of it, or you couldn’t have. You had a father and mother who loved you. I had only a mother who hid things from me.” I felt his hand on my hip and he turned me to face him. I could feel his warmth as he stood only inches from my face.
“You could have told me Maddie. That’s why I was your boyfriend, I loved you. I still love you in a way.” I shook my head and lowered it, biting my lip.
“No, I couldn’t have. Did she tell you what I found that night?” I returned my gaze to his and he shook his head no. “I found a box in the guest room closet. There were piles of letters from him, and presents not opened. He knew who I was and I didn’t know him. The man wrote me a monthly letter for eighteen years and she showed me none of it.”
“Do you think she had a reason to hide them from you?” I could feel his breath on my face and I breathed deep, trying to still my fluttering heart. He placed a hand on the mantle beside me and rested the other on my hip. The touch sent my heart racing again, even though he didn’t mean it in that way.
“All I know is that she walked in as I started to read a letter and she began screaming at me. She told me to never go in there again, swearing at me, telling me I was the worst daughter, not respecting her privacy. Then, she took the letters and threw them in the fire downstairs.” I stopped, tears coming from my eyes now, but I wasn’t ashamed like I had been minutes earlier. “She destroyed my only way of finding my dad. I don’t even know his name!”
In a swift movement, he gathered me into his chest while I cried like I hadn’t in years. All the emotions of that night came exploding out as I sobbed into his chest. With his arms wrapped around me, he stroked my long black hair and rubbed my back.
“You could have told me Maddie. You could have.” It was so soft, whispering into my ear, his hands in my hair, on my back. Pressing his lips to the crown of my head, he pulled back and looked me in the eye. “Don’t ever think you can’t tell me anything ever again.”
“Alright…does this mean you don’t hate me anymore?” He smiled and released me fully.
“Not as much as I did.” With a wink, he sat me back down on the loveseat beside him and we watched the fire die.

“Tell me about Justin, your boyfriend.” I laughed nervously and looked at my twisting hands in my lap.
“I don’t think he’s my boyfriend anymore.” She looked confused, so I continued. “When I left home, I never told anyone where I was going, I just packed and left.”
“Was it something he did?”
“No, it was never anything he did. It was only me.” Michelle reached for my hand and held it.
“You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you?”
“I guess it was enough to drive me away.” I smiled a little and she gripped my hand tighter in her own.
“Tell me about him.” I sighed and began.
“I met Justin on the first day of first grade, he sat next to me. I was smitten with him from that day on; I just didn’t realize it until I was in junior high. He was always the quiet boy in class, the mysterious type, except with me. With me he was always open and free, until the later years of junior high. He met some boys like him and he changed a little, became a little surer of himself. We grew apart then, but it was at the end of my sophomore year that we clicked again.
“We were just so happy together, as friends, but then one day things changed, and we never looked back. He just leaned in and kissed me and that was it, we were inseparable again.” I smiled to myself, and then realized I had babbled on. “I’m sorry.”
“No…” She fell quiet. “Why did you ever leave him if he was so good to you?” I could only look at her and answer simply.
“I ask myself that question every day.”